We all know how difficult it is to forgive.
During our interaction with our friends, family, colleagues, boss, subordinates, organisations we often perceive wrong done towards us. This wrong can be on mental, physical, emotional, material level. Yet, we have been told that it’s best to forgive and move on. Not for them but for our own peace and benefit.
Let’s face it, forgiving someone makes us feel better- about ourselves. We find ourselves in a position of power and generosity. It generates a feel good factor. Especially, when we are able to tell that other person that we are forgiving him or her. But we use this power of forgiveness as a favour. We judge the other person, observe him or her, decide if their conduct is worthy of forgiveness or not and then only hand them forgiveness. So often, we are also concerned that he or she may repeat the same mistake over and over again. We wonder if he or she repeats the same mistake, where will that leave our forgiveness? Are we supposed to forgive endlessly? We are afraid of being judged by others as foolish and too soft. These are some of the thought processes that go through a person’s mind before forgiving someone.
Now, consider our own mistakes. We are often ashamed of some actions that we had performed in the past. The guilt carries lifelong. This is especially true if that person whom we have wronged is a close person and we can see them still suffering from our actions. It could be your spouse, parent, child, subordinate, servant whom you have wrongly treated in the past. It is far more difficult to forgive ourselves in such cases. We carry this pain inside us to the grave. It affects us psychologically and physically and manifests outwardly even in the form of diseases. WE MUST LET GO OF THE PAST. It is absolutely imperative if we want to regain our mental peace and harmony.
This letting go can happen only if we realise that we are together in this lifetime for some mutual learning.
We are all teachers to each other. Even our children have been born to us to give us life lessons and insights.
In the course of teaching, our near and dear ones may take up the role of aggrieved while we are thrust into the role of aggressor or vice-versa. Whatever happened in the past was in all probability part of our soul contract with them- a contract we entered with them before coming down in this lifetime to this planet. Recall my previous article on karma and destiny. Remember that while we may have made a mistake and harmed them bodily, on soul level we are still unharmed and pure. Since we have realised the mistake and repent for it genuinely, we have learned the lesson. We can now let go our grief and self flagellation. Therefore, after taking due cognizance of our actions, we MUST move on and forgive ourselves our past misconduct and action. By doing so, we open up doors of self-love and harmony and peace in life.
Remember those incidents and Repeat to yourself- I HAVE LEARNED THE LESSON. I CHOOSE TO FORGIVE MYSELF. LET PEACE AND HARMONY PREVAIL.
Liberate yourself from the yoke of self-recriminations and soar in your life.
PS. My friend Sandeep Dangi has given permission to publish this article on our website. His own blog happynezz.com is worth visiting.